Thursday, April 28, 2016

Things Babes Have Said To Me (Soon) After Sex

(Inspired by Things Dudes Have Said To Me After Sex.)

The worst: “I should have told you before, I’m sorry, but I just needed you, I have ..., but it isn’t flaring right now and probably not very contagious.”

The rest are in no particular order.
  1. “Have I mentioned that I am an EMO?” (Yes, this cuts both ways … ;-)
  2. “I think we should see each other again ... But not for dating or anything ... I mean just as friends ... But with benefits of course.” (Of course.)
  3. “Did you fake that?”
  4. “Why are you so surprised? I am a grown woman.” (First date.)
  5. “Do you still respect me? You don’t think I’m easy do you? I never do that until after 5–6 dates.” (Different woman, second date.)
  6. “Easy up, easy down.” (After the second time.)
  7. “Am I your first?” (After the third time. And “Yes.”, but I didn’t admit it until a week later.)
  8. “Maybe you should do some Kegels.” (During that week.)
  9. “No, don’t do that! I don't know you well enough.”
  10. “I don’t want you to tell anyone, I don’t want my husband finding out.”
  11. “Honey, you woke my kids!”
  12. “Yayy! We weren’t busted by the SFPD!”
  13. “One more bookcase and we're done.”
  14. “Should we eat now before the food gets cold?” 

The best: "Pizza?"