OkupyCupid2

or "MatchThatColumn", said very quickly. 

(To K.)

This is a series of e-mail exchanges on a dating website. Match the entries in Column R with the responses in Column V. Column R is on the left since R initiates the exchange. Read through Col. V, then through Col. R and attempt to order them independently before fully attempting the puzzle. R's e-mail 'C' is not in response to anything by V.

Col. R		Col. V
A	As Amartya Sen writes at the very beginning of his epo-synonymous book, “Prolixity is not alien to us in India. We are able to talk at some length.” I am ethnically, culturally, argumentatively and arguably Indian: I was born in India, came to the US for grad school and have since worked, lived and played here, except for two years that I lived in Argentina. I take it you were born here. Music appears to be a big part of your life, do you have either amateur or professional performances? Rakesh	0	You are a kind sympathetic man. Good luck to you. You are a bright star. Vivian
B	Hi V, The prosaic reality behind the photo is the following. In December I was at "Toni's haircuts" in the chicano part of Las Vegas and paid more attention to the attractive young woman cutting my hair and to chatting to her in Spanish than to what she was doing to my hair. Each time she asked, "?Asi bien o corto mas?" I of course responded with "Corte mas, por favor." The cut ended up much shorter than I usually have it, and than the increasing sparsity of my hair justifies. Then, on one of those supremely beautiful chilly but sunny days this January I hiked up to Black Mountain from Rhus Ridge and took this self-portrait - trying to avoid both my hair and the arm holding the cell phone and losing my smile by the time I got the frame approximately right. I know the off-angle looks artistic now, but it was pure inability to use that little mirror on the back of my cellphone. At that time my profile picture was one of the "pleasant smile" ones a friend of mine had taken and insisted I use, claiming to know something about what her gender wants in a man. Then yet another woman friend insisted that though they claim to want "nice guys", what women really want is a "bad boy" look. So there we have it. Previous to yours, the only comment on the photo was that I looked "very butch"! Regards, Rakesh	1	HI Rakesh, YOu are looking at the transitional girflriend who dated freshly divorced men for the last ten years. I am interested in you. However, let's meet once you are two years post divorce. Men frieshly divorced are in no place to get married and that means we are not on the same page....yet. I know this is the time when you regain your autonomy. Best of luck. contact me in 18 months if you would. Spare my heart. Vivian
C	Hi (for the last time today, I'm taking an editing break) Vivian, Here are the reasons I e-mailed you in the first place: your well-written profile, your work with soup kitchens and food banks (I cook weekly for OccupyOakland), sea-kayaking (I've paddled around the Channel islands off Ventura), Agno Nuevo (took my girls out of school last month to do the walk), "Guns, Germs and Steel", the three movies you've mentioned and your very attractive smile in your profile pic - not that I'm comparing you to Kelly McGillis. Rakesh	2	That's young! How many years are you post-divorce.? V
D	Hi Vivian, I am sorry for the confusion my message has caused. I was interested by you and by your profile. With the hope of enticing you to take a look at my profile I sent you some fiction I wrote - it was not meant for you, nor was it meant for anyone else. It was motivated by thinking of "what ifs" of the dating scene and the possible lives of others. You've misjudged me on multiple counts regarding (the importance of being an) Ivy grad, professional, light-hearted, defensive, but I can't change your perceptions. Again, accept my apologies for having sent you an e-mail open to being misconstrued. Good luck, and as the old Stones' song goes, I hope you get what you need. Rakesh	3	R, I Enjoy playing musoc. It's like unravelling a sound puzzle, for example Bach's Fugue No. 10 in WTC. Satisfying. I love kids. How old are your girls ? V
E	Hi Vivian, it will be a pleasure to talk to you! My cell phone is 555-1729. Very few get it. I have my daughters tonight, so the best times to talk would be after 9PM. I can talk in their presence, but it is best when they are doing their own stuff, which happens on the weekends, so we can talk then as well. - R	4	Hi R, Do you always write somch – your stpry about the photo? What is your ethnic background?
F	Hi Vivian, I am sorry for what you have been through, each cycle of the roller coaster necessarily making you question yourself and others more. You are absolutely right: regardless of my emotional state and possible willingness to commit, my situation makes it laughable and dishonest on my part to consider marriage or even a LTR. I can't even contemplate it, and since it took me long enough to get married in the first place ... A short while back my thought might have been "What difference does it make? If I say I am ready, I am ready." But it does make a difference, and you have done me, and numerous unknown women, a big favor: Your first two sentences have aroused much more sympathy in me for women out there and what some of them may be going through (guys as well) and led to my openly stating my status at the top of my profile - neither you nor anyone else should be obliged to ask for clarification of this. You are right about the autonomy as well: in my case it is not just about stereotypical sexual freedom, it does have to do with freedom to grow, to be, to associate, to think and to do, without the (willingly accepted) constraints of bondedness to a person. Your last letter in particular shows great thoughtfulness about my state and kindness towards me. It would speak poorly of this world if it weren't to sufficiently appreciate someone like you, so I hope in 18 months to find that you are in a fulfilling relationship and no longer on this site. Dear Vivian, thank you for giving me the opportunity to spare your heart. Rakesh	5	HI Rakesh, that was a succinct answer. I love seeing the elephant seals of año Nuevo. Shall we talk? Would you mind sharing your phone number ? Vivian
G	Thank you for the compliment. The last time I was compared to Tom Cruise, reference was made to Mission:Impossible - the air-guitar in underwear scene. Hah, I wish! As far as "Top Gun" goes, let's just say I have a better attitude towards female instructors. Rakesh	6
H	Hi, I've written a short piece you might like to read. Please take a look. If you are interested by it and by my profile, I would like to hear from you.	7	A favorite scene of mine. Where was the phto taken?
I	Post-divorce? Negative 6 months. Meaning we filed in January and some initial dates are set, have been living apart for the last 8 months or so. The emotional estrangement has been from at least a couple of years before, became near total about a year ago. There has been no crisis of action or behaviour that brought it on - just incomprehensibly growing apart. By the way I will endeavour to answer your questions fully. It means that I may share something that you are uncomfortable with, and hence I am prepared if you then do not wish to continue communication. Would you like to talk tonight? I'm usually up till midnight. - R	8	Yes. It was an odd reply. Good luck with your search. Your photo seems like Tom cruise in top gun. V
J	Hi Vivian, I have two daughters ages 10 and 5, and we do a lot of stuff together: climbing, hiking, camping, mudding in the garden, board games, cooking, museums and films, etc. I make an effort to interact with their friends, and they interact with mine. Do you have nieces or nephews, or the children of friends that you are close to? You teach music, is that mostly to kids? Would you mind if we e-mailed off-site, I can explain when we talk or meet? My e-mail is rakishrakesh@vanitymail.com Based on your science reading preferences –and the analogy of "sound puzzle" which is not a common way that people seem to think about western classical music except for Bach's as you mention or for jazz/fusion/Indian classical– you seem like you have a tech/engr/science background. And you play music and professionally a yoga teacher? How intriguing! Rakesh	9	Hi BelayMe2. You seem to be writing to a different woman. I was not involved in the occupy movement. I believe in God. I am an Ivy grad with a professional job. I need someone who is lighthearted, not defensive. Are you writing to someone else? Vivian

Column V is in reverse chronological order.

Solution: H-9-D-8-G-7-B-6-C-5-E-4-A-3-J-2-I-1-F-0

Hi,
I've written a short piece you might like to read. Please take a look. If you are interested by it and by my profile, I would like to hear from you.


Hi BelayMe2.


You seem to be writing to a different woman. I was not involved in the occupy movement. I believe in God. I am an Ivy grad with a professional job. I need someone who is lighthearted, not defensive. Are you writing to someone else?

Vivian


Hi Vivian, I am sorry for the confusion my message has caused. I was interested by you and your profile. With the hope of enticing you to take a look at my profile I sent you some _fiction_ I wrote - it was not meant for you, nor was it meant for anyone else. It was motivated by thinking of "what ifs" of the dating scene and the possible lives of others. You've misjudged me on multiple counts regarding Ivy grad, professional, light-hearted, defensive, but I can't change your perceptions.

Again, accept my apologies for having sent you an e-mail open to being misconstrued.

Good luck, and as the old Stones' song goes, I hope you get what you need.

Rakesh


Yes. It was an odd reply. Good luck with your search. Your photo seems like Tom cruise in top gun. V

Thank you for the compliment. The last time I was compared to Tom Cruise, reference was made to Mission:Impossible - the air-guitar in underwear scene. Hah, I wish! As far as "Top Gun" goes, let's just say I have a better attitude towards female instructors.

Rakesh


A favorite scene of mine. Where was the phto taken?


Hi V,


The prosaic reality behind the photo is the following. In December I was at "Toni's haircuts" in the chicano part of Las Vegas and paid more attention to the attractive young woman cutting my hair and to chatting to her in Spanish than to what she was doing to my hair. Each time she asked, "?Asi bien o corto mas?" I of course responded with "Corte mas, por favor." The cut ended up much shorter than I usually have it, and than the increasing sparsity of my hair justifies.

Then, on one of those supremely beautiful chilly but sunny days this January I hiked up to Black Mountain from Rhus Ridge and took this self-portrait - trying to avoid both my hair and the arm holding the cell phone and losing my smile by the time I got the frame approximately right. I know the off-angle looks artistic now, but it was pure inability to use that little mirror on the back of my cellphone.

At that time my profile picture was one of the "pleasant smile" ones a friend of mine had taken and insisted I use, claiming to know something about what her gender wants in a man. Then yet another woman friend insisted that though they claim to want "nice guys", what women really want is a "bad boy" look. So there we have it.

Previous to yours, the only comment on the photo was that I looked "very butch"!

Regards, Rakesh


…


Hi Vivian (for the last time today, I'm taking an editing break),

Here are the reasons I e-mailed you in the first place: your well-written profile, your work with soup kitchens and food banks (I cook weekly for OccupyOakland), sea-kayaking (I've paddled around the Channel islands off Ventura), Agno Nuevo (took my girls out of school last month to do the walk), "Guns, Germs and Steel", the three movies you've mentioned and your very attractive smile in your profile pic - not that I'm comparing you to Kelly McGillis.

Rakesh


HI Rakesh, that was a succinct answer. I love seeing the elephant seals of año Nuevo. Shall we talk? Would you mind sharing your phone number ? Vivian


Hi Vivian, it will be a pleasure to talk to you! My cell phone is 555-1729. I have my daughters tonight, so the best times to talk would be after 9PM. I can talk in their presence, but it is best when they are doing their own stuff, which happens on the weekends, so we can talk then as well.
- R


Hi R, Do you always write somch – your stpry about the photo? What is your ethnic background?


As Amartya Sen writes at the very beginning of his epo-synonymous book, “Prolixity is not alien to us in India. We are able to talk at some length.”


I am ethnically, culturally, argumentatively and arguably Indian: I was born in India, came to the US for grad school and have since worked, lived and played here, except for two years that I lived in Argentina.

I take it you were born here. Music appears to be a big part of your life, do you have either amateur or professional performances?

Rakesh


R, I Enjoy playing musoc. It's like unravelling a sound puzzle, for example Bach's Fugue No. 10 in WTC. Satisfying.


I love kids. How old are your girls ? V


Hi Vivian, I have two daughters ages 10 and 5, and we do a lot of stuff together: climbing, hiking, camping, mudding in the garden, board games, cooking, museums and films, etc. I make an effort to interact with their friends, and they interact with mine.

Do you have nieces or nephews, or the children of friends that you are close to? You teach music, is that mostly to kids?

Would you mind if we e-mailed off-site, I can explain when we talk or meet? Mine is rakishrakesh@vanitymail.com

Based on your science reading preferences –and the analogy of "sound puzzle" which is not a common way that people seem to think about western classical music except for Bach's as you mention or for jazz/fusion/Indian classical– you seem like you have a tech/engr/science background. And you play music and professionally a yoga teacher? How intriguing!

Rakesh


That's young! How many years are you post-divorce.?
V


Post-divorce? -6 months. Meaning we filed in january and some initial dates are set, have been living apart since July 2011. The emotional estrangement has been from at least a couple of years ago, became near total about a year ago. There has been no crisis of action or behaviour that brought it on - just incomprehensibly growing apart.

By the way I will endeavour to answer your questions fully. It means that I may share something that you are uncomfortable with, and hence I am prepared if you then do not wish to continue communication.

Of course I would like to get to know your personal background as well, perhaps in person and as you choose to share it.

Would you like to talk tonight? I'm usually up till midnight.
- R




HI Rakesh,

YOu are looking at the transitional girflriend who dated freshly divorced men for the last ten years. I am interested in you. However, let's meet once you are two years post divorce. Men frieshly divorced are in no place to get married and that means we are not on the same page....yet.

I know this is the time when you regain your autonomy.

Best of luck. contact me in 18 months if you would.

Spare my heart.

Vivian


Hi Vivian, I am sorry for what you have been through, each cycle of the roller coaster necessarily making you question yourself and others more.

You are absolutely right: regardless of my emotional state and possible willingness to commit, my situation makes it laughable and dishonest on my part to consider marriage or even a LTR.

A short while back my thought might have been "What difference does it make? If I say I am ready, I am ready." But it does make a difference, and you have done me, and numerous unknown women, a big favor: Your first two sentences have aroused much more sympathy in me for women out there and what they are going through (guys as well) and a resolve to honestly state my status at the top of my profile - neither you nor anyone else should be obliged to ask for clarification of this.

You are right about the autonomy as well: in my case it is not just about stereotypical sexual freedom, it does have to do with freedom to grow, to be, to associate, to think and to do, without the (willingly accepted) constraints of bondedness to a person.

Your last letter in particular shows great thoughtfulness about my state and kindness towards me. It would speak poorly of this world if it weren't to sufficiently appreciate someone like you, so I hope in 18 months to find that you are in a fulfilling relationship and no longer on this site.

Dear Vivian, thank you for giving me the opportunity to spare your heart.

Rakesh


You are a kind sympathetic man. Good luck to you. You are a bright star. Vivian