Why I am soooooo sorry that we are apparently
(meaning according to the latest astronomical data and relativistic
cosmologies) no longer in a closed (re-collapsing) universe. According
to the latest, the expansion of the universe is decelerating, but at an
ever lower deceleration which will cumulatively not be enough to turn
the expansion around.
How terribly sad! Suppose that there were to have been enough
mass density in the universe to cause
the universe to stop expanding and then to contract. Then there are
theorems in GR which state that within a finite time everything will
recollapse to a final singularity.
Now, listen closely: We would
then already be INSIDE the event horizon of the final singularity. Yes, you, me, the earth the sun the solar system the galaxy the local cluster the supercluster etc. You
don't notice anything different do you? No "the earth shook" nor
nothing, nada?
Being inside the event horizon of a sufficiently large,
isolated Black Hole would feel exactly the same.
"But if I was inside the event horizon of a Black Hole wouldn't I be able to see the Black Hole I was falling towards!?"
Nope! A Black Hole, like any final singularity, is like next Monday. You can't see "next Monday" can you?
Friday, December 21, 2012
End of the World
In case you missed it, the world did end,
exactly according to prophecy. The end of the world started at the
barycentre of the pyramid of the magician in the Yucatan and radiated
out at the speed of light.
But the idiots who translated the prophecy forgot to translate the second page, which also prophesied that a new world would start with exactly the same initial data as was present on the outgoing lightcone of the end-of-the-world event. You didn't notice anything did you?
But what I really don't get is the self-hating "Westernized" Hindoos who fall all over each other to believe in the "new-age misinterpretation of Mayan calendar - the Maya Y2K" end of the world prophecy. Don't we have enough of our own revered and ancient crackpot astroboogers to believe in? Why do you have to outsource your insanity and take away domestic jobs from our own jyotishis and jadi-booti vendors?
But the idiots who translated the prophecy forgot to translate the second page, which also prophesied that a new world would start with exactly the same initial data as was present on the outgoing lightcone of the end-of-the-world event. You didn't notice anything did you?
But what I really don't get is the self-hating "Westernized" Hindoos who fall all over each other to believe in the "new-age misinterpretation of Mayan calendar - the Maya Y2K" end of the world prophecy. Don't we have enough of our own revered and ancient crackpot astroboogers to believe in? Why do you have to outsource your insanity and take away domestic jobs from our own jyotishis and jadi-booti vendors?
Physics Phriday - It is a Time Machine
From Jack van Ryswyck:
You know it's funny you should mention that. The other day I suddenly saw Mike vanish before my very eyes, desk chair and all. Left in his place was a box shaped area of seemingly totally empty space, filled with absolutely nothing but some strange looking radiation.
Two seconds later Mike suddenly reappeared, looking very normal. In fact, looking rather exactly like he had at the moment he vanished. He then looked at me as if I had done something totally strange.
He told me that he had not seen anything vanish at all, but to him it looked like I instantaneously had shifted position and facial expression, as if I were an old time movie that had skipped a few frames. We then noticed that the atomic clocks that we had coincidentally been carrying were inexplicably off by 2 seconds. We had just synchronized them earlier that morning, but now his was 2 seconds behind mine.
Some time later a very similar thing happened, but this time a part of his desk chair stayed behind when Mike and the rest of his chair vanished. The remaining part of his chair just got cut clean off and fell to the floor. Mike and the rest of the chair reappeared two seconds later, though the chair did not reassemble. He said that he saw part of his chair suddenly teleported to the floor instantly.
Then the other day Josh and I were passing juggling balls when the same thing happened again. Suddenly everything in the box shaped area vanished, and many copies of a juggle ball appeared, all moving in a parallel direction. I then found myself tossing a juggle ball into the box. Oddly enough it happened to have the same colour as all the copies, and by some mysterious coincidence it was moving in just the same direction. Two seconds later all but one of the balls disappeared, and everything else reappeared. At the far side of the box, one juggle ball flew off. The net effect was just as if I had thrown the ball across the box incredibly fast. Impossibly fast really.
The next time it happened I saw the empty box appear filled with many copies of about one-third of a juggle ball. All but one of them were moving in a parallel direction away from me, but the nearest copy seemed to be moving towards me. In self defense I grabbed the juggle ball nearest to me, which happened to be the same colour, and as a makeshift missile defense system I threw it against the partial juggle ball that was moving menacingly towards me. They collided. The partial ball got knocked into a trajectory parallel to all the others. My defense missile ball got nudged back towards me. Then all the partial balls disappeared, except one that flew off at the far side. My defense missile ball was suddenly missing about a third of it. The remainder fell to the floor. The part that fell to the floor on the other side of the box seemed to fit it exactly.
Weird.
You know it's funny you should mention that. The other day I suddenly saw Mike vanish before my very eyes, desk chair and all. Left in his place was a box shaped area of seemingly totally empty space, filled with absolutely nothing but some strange looking radiation.
Two seconds later Mike suddenly reappeared, looking very normal. In fact, looking rather exactly like he had at the moment he vanished. He then looked at me as if I had done something totally strange.
He told me that he had not seen anything vanish at all, but to him it looked like I instantaneously had shifted position and facial expression, as if I were an old time movie that had skipped a few frames. We then noticed that the atomic clocks that we had coincidentally been carrying were inexplicably off by 2 seconds. We had just synchronized them earlier that morning, but now his was 2 seconds behind mine.
Some time later a very similar thing happened, but this time a part of his desk chair stayed behind when Mike and the rest of his chair vanished. The remaining part of his chair just got cut clean off and fell to the floor. Mike and the rest of the chair reappeared two seconds later, though the chair did not reassemble. He said that he saw part of his chair suddenly teleported to the floor instantly.
Then the other day Josh and I were passing juggling balls when the same thing happened again. Suddenly everything in the box shaped area vanished, and many copies of a juggle ball appeared, all moving in a parallel direction. I then found myself tossing a juggle ball into the box. Oddly enough it happened to have the same colour as all the copies, and by some mysterious coincidence it was moving in just the same direction. Two seconds later all but one of the balls disappeared, and everything else reappeared. At the far side of the box, one juggle ball flew off. The net effect was just as if I had thrown the ball across the box incredibly fast. Impossibly fast really.
The next time it happened I saw the empty box appear filled with many copies of about one-third of a juggle ball. All but one of them were moving in a parallel direction away from me, but the nearest copy seemed to be moving towards me. In self defense I grabbed the juggle ball nearest to me, which happened to be the same colour, and as a makeshift missile defense system I threw it against the partial juggle ball that was moving menacingly towards me. They collided. The partial ball got knocked into a trajectory parallel to all the others. My defense missile ball got nudged back towards me. Then all the partial balls disappeared, except one that flew off at the far side. My defense missile ball was suddenly missing about a third of it. The remainder fell to the floor. The part that fell to the floor on the other side of the box seemed to fit it exactly.
Weird.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Mirror Mirror
Sex advice to the young (25 year-olds)
Not to the “young at heart”, just
“young”.
If you expect to have a long and
satisfying sex life, or just a long sex life, you should now
start fucking a 30-year old, a 40-year old, a 50-year old, a
60-year old, a 70-year old … because if you expect to have a long
sex life and hence a satisfying one, at some point you will be
fucking a 30-year old, a 40-year old, a 50-year old, a 60-year old, a 70-year old …
… or you will be fucking somebody who
is at that moment fucking a 30-year old, a 40-year old, a 50-year
old, a 60-year old or a 70-year old …
… so you might as well start getting
accustomed to it now.
Friday Night Epiphany
Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit Dept.
No matter how explosive the sex, no
matter how available they were tonight and might be in the future, no
matter how horny you were nor that you had just wanted to fuck and
had imagined a long night of mutual pleasure, no matter that for a day or two it might
help you avoid pining over someone or something unattainable - sex
with someone who seems not to like you is just deeply unsatisfying.
Ask yourself, did you want to fuck them
a second time?
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